Without Vision…

…the people perish. [Proverbs 29:18]

Wooohooo, I’m back to life and civilisation and daylight after more than a week of intense cramming for re-exams in General Biochemistry. Yes, first try I failed because I didn’t do much for this exam, because it was between two other exams (General Biology and Chemistry of Natural Products) in a time span of three weeks. One week preparation worked for each of these two exams but it would have never worked for the big thing in biochemistry… so, erm… well, I didn’t do much. With 20% preparation almost needless to say that I failed in August. Last Wednesday I had my 2nd try.But this time I eagerly crammed that stuff into my head: reading and outlining through almost all 1000 pages of Mr. Stryer’s heavy textbook, memorizing metabolism pathways and mechanisms and deepening my knowledge on the biochemical principles over and over and over…In contrast to the first try, I think, one of the most important changes now – three months later – is that I do have a vision to do what I’m doing and I know this is what God wants me to do. It wasn’t like this before. I’ve been seriously questioning these studies for more than a year. I’m gonna tell ya this: I almost dropped it to get into music. For real. I was ready to enroll at SAE, a private institute, for Audio Engineering. My loving parents even allowed me and would have supported me (thxs&hugs to mummy reading this;)). There was only one question: „Before I overturn everything – what is it that God wants me to do?“I know whatever the decision ahead might be, the best way is to ask the Holy Spirit and then decide. What profit is it to me when I gain the whole world, superficial pleasure, a bit of happiness and faltering satisfaction, but still have no peace, still have no fulfillment, still see no point… He knows better, what place I fit in and He knows better where I’m most effective for His Kingdom. He just knows all that, not only what’s good for me – surely music is a good opportunity or occupation and fruitful thing for me – but He knows what’s best. It’s better to go where He leads: to a place where it profits me and His Kingdom not only 99 percent but 100 percent!Back to the story. In October this year, when I started to ask God in prayer seriously if I should continue biochem, it turned out to be several weeks of questions… nothing… question… unclear answers… question… people saying different things… question… still no answer. That was weird! I mean normally you ask and you get the answer. Either it’s a clear out of the word answer or you just get it in your Spirit after praying and „rolling the word over“ for a little time. Here I was, almost three weeks with absolute silence on the spiritual airwaves. But God is faithful! After both ideas – biochem and audio engineering – almost driving me nuts, I got an answer and I got peace about accepting that answer. Biochem. Thank God!You know, it’s much easier to walk the walk if you know you’re on the right track. You walk with a different motivation, you walk with more commitment, you walk more light-heartedly in contrast to a walk where you always ask the question „Is this the right way?“. That insecurity pulls you deep down whenever situations become a little difficult or pressurized. Without vision the people truly perish. But with vision and a purpose it’s so much easier to keep keeping on. Assuredness fuels determination. Determination fuels endurance. Endurance will make you reach the goal. (Since lately, I like cascades.)

Miracle is mine

On Wednesday I went into that professor’s room again for 30 minutes. But first let me tell some background happenings. It was said before that this prof will not give you better than a 2.0 in a re-exam, because it’s a repeat and everyone is under 2.0 if they failed the first one. Further, I didn’t attend lectures for about 1 and a half week to prepare, but I went to church as normal. However, there was one Thursday prayer meeting I planned to skip, because I needed every hour to work through that textbook. But when I prayed that day and asked what to do, I felt the Holy Spirit saying I should go there. So I went. A lil crazy, I know. At the end of our prayer meeting Pastor called me up and wanted to pray for my exams, saying „You’re around all the time, never missing out on church, You must be blessed!“ and then he prayed the full dose, like – I mean – powerfully! Calling excellent results and wisdom and retentive memory and favour and telling me over and over that in Christ are hidden all the treasuries of wisdom and knowledge.Towards Wednesday afternoon my adrenaline level rose to dangerous heights. (By the way, I can tell you something about adrenaline and the G-protein mediated cascade of signal transduction that’s initiated by that hormon resulting in the breakdown of glycogen to provide glucose as energy source for the brain for example… ) After my two mates came out with 3.0 and 2.0 it was my turn and it went so cool and smuuf! Finally the prof called me to announce the grade and gave me a 1.3 – that’s AAAWWWEEESOMMEE. God is soooo faithful.